3 guys

Darby O'Hanlon, Part I

The story of Darby O'Hanlon has been in my head for the last eleven years, and through multiple rewrites his character has actually changed very little. I joked the other day that since Darby has been in my head for so long, either he's becoming more like me or I'm becoming more like him.

Anyway, the premise has always been the same: Darby knows the exact moment that the world will end, to the second, and the story has always started on the Monday of the week in which the world will end.

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Monday morning. He hated Monday mornings. They were too cheery for the start of the week. He much preferred Thursdays, but there’s a darn good reason for that. But back to Monday mornings. He was convinced that the local radio stations were involved in a conspiracy to lull people into a false sense of complacency. Every song played on a Monday before lunch time was guaranteed to be happy. This was wrong, and probably evil. People weren’t meant to be lied to in such a way.

He fumbled for a moment in shutting off his alarm and sat up slowly in bed. The bed was about ten years old, but it was rapidly wearing out. Oh well, no point getting a new one now. This is an important week. He glanced at the alarm clock, its green numbers floating in the darkness. 5:00. Time to wake up and get ready.

He reached over and flicked on the lamp on his nightstand. His head swam for a moment, adjusting to the light. He had slept a solid two hours. That was pretty normal, actually. Sleep was harder and harder to come by lately. He had tried counting backward from 100, a trick his mother had taught him at the young age of 7. He had read from the dictionary, which had only fired up his brain even more. He had finally resorted to a half a Vicodin and a shot of vodka. That had done the trick, though. He got two hours of sleep for his troubles.

Turning back to the alarm clock, he saw that it was now 5:10, so he had to get moving. That sunrise wasn’t going to watch itself.

Darby O’Hanlon pushed himself up off the bed. This was a very important week. Especially to him. See, Darby O’Hanlon thought he was the most important creature in the universe. Why, you ask? Well, Darby knows for a certainty that the world will end at 2 hours, 14 minutes, and 13 seconds after noon on this upcoming Thursday.

Review #40: Dark Tower VI: Song of Susannah

This story picks up where the fifth book in the Dark Tower cycle left off. Susannah has fled from the Calla after the victory over the Wolves. Roland, Eddie, Jake, and Pere Callahan (of Salem's Lot fame) decide to chase after her, using the Door in the Doorway Cave. The Manni, a group of mystics, agree to help. They hope to open the door to the last place that it went, so that Eddie and group can rush through.

Fate, though, has different things in mind. The door opens to where Susannah went, but forces pull Jake and Callahan through, along with Black Thirteen, the evil orb of the Wizard's Rainbow. They are taken to Susannah's destination: New York City, 1999. Eddie watches in horror as the door closes. It opens again and pulls Eddie and Roland through to Maine in 1977.

Jake and Pere Callahan search through New York, trying to find Susannah. Susannah, though, as a lead on them. She makes her way to The Dixie Pig restaurant, the entire time being helped by the demonic Mia, who is bent on birthing and raising the child Susannah is carrying, the child of the Crimson King.... and Roland.... and Susannah... and Mia. It's complicated. Along the way, Susannah comes to possess a scrimshaw turtle that will play a big part in the opening chapters of the final book of the series.

Jake and the Pere hide Black Thirteen in a locker under the World Trade Center, making a seemingly off-hand comment that perhaps it could be destroyed by a building falling on it.

Meanwhile, Eddie and Roland continue their journey in Maine in 1977. There, they meet a young writer named Stephen King. That's right, King is putting himself into these stories. This has been a point of contention among fans of this series since the release of these books. I'll withhold comment for the time being.

After a conversation with King, at which time Eddie and Roland realize that King is a conduit for their story, but is also essential for their continued existence, Eddie and Roland depart to try and reach Susannah in New York.

Final Grade: B+

Re-readability: 8.9

Review #39: Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla

The fifth book of the Dark Tower series marks a major point in criticism. Some reviewers claim that this is the beginning of the end for the series, and that Stephen King basically gave up. Other reviewers claim that this is where King really hits his stride.

The story goes:

Immediately following the events of Wizard and Glass, Roland and the ka-tet arrive in Calla Bryn Sturgis, only to find that the town is beseiged by "Wolves" every generation, and it just so happens that the next run is only about a month away. Roland and the others are asked to help.

They meet Father Don Callahan (of Salem's Lot), who indirectly leads the Calla. Callahan had entered Mid-World (in possession of Black 13, part of the Wizard's Rainbow) after dying at the hands of the Crimson King's Low Men in 1983. They journey into the mountains, to the Doorway Cave.

Several trips to alternate realities lead the ka-tet back to the keystone world, where they find a vacant lot in New York City. Jake has been here before, and there saw a rose, that they soon determine is a doppleganger for the Dark Tower, which has a representation in the every dimension. The ka-tet learns that if they can protect the rose, it will limit the Crimson King's power over the real Dark Tower.

Throughout all of this, Roland and Jake note that Susannah is acting odd. Roland eventually puts together that Susan has a new personality, Mia, who is actually a demon. Susannah is actually pregnant, but the demon is carrying the child in another dimension.

While dealing with this new personality, the Wolves attack. Thankfully, the ka-tet is prepared, and so is the Calla. The wolves are defeated, though not without loss for the Calla. The ka-tet members realize after the battle that Susannah has run away.

Final Grade: A

Re-readability: 8.9

Review #38: Dark Tower IV: Wizard and Glass

The fourth book of the Dark Tower is Wizard and Glass. This book introduces us to the Wizard's Rainbow, a group of glass balls that act like the palantirs in Lord of the Rings, allowing the user to see things far off, or things yet to happen, but these tools are far more sinister than the palantirs.

The ka-tet arrives in Topeka, Kansas, having defeated Blaine the Mono in a riddle contest. This version of Topeka is deserted, having been hit by the superlu detailed in The Stand. Roland leads the group out I-70, following the path of the beam.

As they walk, Roland recounts the story of his journey to Mejis, a barony on the outskirts of the alliance. He tells of meeting Susan Delgado and Sheemie Ruiz.

He also relates of his fight with the Big Coffin Hunters, servants of the Crimson King. Roland eventually captures Maerlyn's Grapefruit, a piece of the Wizard's Rainbow. He loses Susan, though.

At the end, he once more meets the Man in Black from The Gunslinger. It is also revealed that Roland killed his own mother after being tricked by the witch Rhea of the Coos.

Wizard and Glass is a big break from the story flow of the Dark Tower. The quest is halted for a while as Roland tells his story. That why I think this book deserves two grades. I sort of feel as though this book doesn't belong in this spot in the series, even though it is absolutely integral to the series. That said, the story within is one of my favorite Stephen King books out there.

Final Grade: A+

Final Grade (within series): B-

Re-readability: 9.2

Novel Idea Relaunched

Well, the Right Wing got a bit of a face lift today, and so it seemed only fitting that Novel Idea follow suit. In both cases it is a rather drastic redesign from the old blog. Hopefully you'll all like the new format.

Review #37: Dark Tower III: The Waste Lands

The third book in Stephen King's epic Dark Tower cycle is titled The Waste Lands. This book picks up the action a few months after the events of The Drawing of the Three and follows Roland, Eddie and Susannah as they journey inland from the ocean. Roland is now suffering from a mental paradox. Because he killed Jack Mort, Mort was never able to push Jake Chambers in front of a car. Since that never happened, in Roland's mind Jake is now both alive and dead. Jake Chambers, living in New York, is experiencing the same thing. In his journeys he comes across a vacant lot with a single rose growing in it. He also meets Calvin Tower and Aaron Deepneau, two fairly important figures in the later books of the series.

The trio is attacked by a giant bear called Mir, or Shardik, depending on the translation Roland gives. The bear is actually a cyborg/robot who is one of the Guardians of the Beam. The Beams, Roland explains, hold up the Dark Tower. They are not physical objects, but essentially currents or energy.

The group finds the Path of the Beam and they begin to follow it, knowing it will lead them to the Dark Tower. Eddie begins kind of absent-mindedly whittling a key out of wood. As they approach another speaking ring, Rolands comes to understand that the third has not truly been drawn yet, and that Jake Chambers is coming to them through the ring. Susannah is forced to have sex with the demon of the ring to distract it while Eddie and Roland pull Jake through.

Once Jake is through, the group is joined by Oy the Billy-Bumbler, a type of dog/racoon with the ability to mimic speech like a parrot. They journey to the town of River Crossing and receive the blessing of the town Matriarch before going on to the city of Lud.

The entrance to Lud is the George Washington Bridge, but before they reach it they find an old Nazi airplane crashed outside the city. While crossing the bridge Jake Chambers is abducted by Gasher, a street thug. Roland goes to rescue him while Eddie and Susannah find a way out of the city, a monorail train.

They eventually board the train, but in doing so they learn that the train has gone crazy and will crash and kill them all unless they can pose a riddle that the train, Blaine, does not know the answer to.

More than a few fans of the series were angered by the pseudo-cliffhanger ending of this book. The train is flying out over the Waste Lands towards its mysterious destination (Topeka, Kansas). The group begins seeking riddles. That's it.

Overall, though, this is a really good book. Unlike other long book series that seem to contain a lot of filler, everything in this book is important. For me, considering that this is a very enjoyable series, this book steps up a bit. I can't really say why.

Final Grade: A+
Re-readability: 9.8

Review #36: The Judas Strain

The fourth entry in James Rollins's Sigma Force series is The Judas Strain. The book follows our regular heroes (Gray Pierce, Monk Kokkalis, Kat Bryant, Painter Crowe, Lisa Cummings) as they try to once again thwart the Guild and the Imperial Dragon Court. This time, the very existence of life on Earth is at stake.

The book begins with Marco Polo, who carried a dark secret with him to the grave. It is up to the heroes of Sigma Force to track down the clues he left behind and save the day.

Meanwhile, on a hospital ship in the south Pacific, Monk and Lisa are battling an unknown disease, which they learn is a Judas Strain, is virus or disease capable of causing mass extinction. The Guild is seeking to master the Judas Strain as a weapon.

The hospital ship is commandeered and taken deep into the Indonesian archipelago. Monk and Lisa unite a divided crew to escape and reclaim the ship, which is eventually sunk.

Gray and the others follow Marco Polo's clues to the Angkor Wat temple complex, where they find a room covered in "angelic script" or proto-Hebrew. Gray and the crew learn that Marco Polo had found a "vaccination" for the Judas Strain, and that one of the passengers on the doomed hospital ship carries the ability to negate the strain.

She is rushed to the temple complex, where she works her magic and saves the world. Unfortunately, Monk Kokkalis is lost. The only thing they find of him is his prosthetic hand (he lost his hand in Map of Bones). After the danger is quelled, Gray Pierce and the rest of Sigma Force meet for a funeral, where the plan to bury the hand, as it is all that is left of Monk. As Gray is leaving, one finger on the hand taps out S-O-S.

Rollins is quickly becoming the master of the spy-thriller-scifi genre. The Sigma Force series confirms such diagnosis.

Final Grade: A-
Re-readability: 8.9

Review #35: Dark Tower II: The Drawing of the Three

When last we left the Dark Tower series, Roland of Gilead had ended his long palaver with Walter, the Man in Black, and he'd reached the Western Sea. The second book in the series, The Drawing of the Three, starts a mere eight hours later, as Roland is viciously attacked by "lobstrosities," a type of giant lobster-like sea monster. The creatures bite off Roland's middle and index finger on his right hand, as well as part of his big toe. He survives the ordeal, but begins to get sick from infection.

As he makes his way along the beach, Roland encounters three doors. He remembers what Walter said to him, that he would draw three to him. The first door (The PRISONER) leads Roland to Eddie Dean, a heroin junkie from New York in 1987. Eddie is smuggling heroin into the US, and Roland helps him get the stuff through customs, because he can't afford to lose Eddie. Eventually the two make it to Enrico Balazar, who is waiting for Eddie to bring him the heroin. Roland comes through into New York, a shoot-out occurs, and Roland and Eddie escape.

The second door (the LADY OF SHADOWS) leads Roland to Odetta Holmes, who is a mild-mannered civil rights activist in New York in 1964. She lost her legs below the knees after she was pushed in front of a subway train. Also, as a small child, she was hit in the head by a brick thrown from a high building. Both instances of violence against Odetta were perpetrated by Jack Mort. Odetta though, has a sadistic alternate personality, Detta Walker. Odetta is unaware of Detta's existence. Roland pulls her through to Mid-World.

The third door (The PUSHER) forces Roland to confront Jack Mort, who not only is responsible for Odetta/Detta, but is also the man who pushed Jake Chambers in front of a car in 1977. Roland eventually leads the man through a few misadventures before depositing him in front of the same subway train that he pushed Odetta under.

These events force Odetta and Detta, the split personalities, to fuse into one being (later to be called Susannah). Roland slowly recovers from the "lobstrosity" attack, thanks to astin (aspirin that Eddie brings him from our world). Invisotext

This second book in King's Dark Tower series is possibly one of the weaker outings, especially in my mind, but as we get further into the reviews I think it will become evident why.

Final Grade: B
Re-readability: 8.8

Review #34: Black Order

James Rollins continues the amazingly fun Sigma Force series with Black Order, a book that traces clues out of the Darwin Family Bible as Sigma Force and a former Nazi face off against each other, seeking the answer to the origin of life on Earth. The book focuses heavily on the mystic nature of some Nazi beliefs, as well as a desire to control evolution.

Using Darwin's Bible, and other clues, the Sigma team traipses all over the globe, through the Himalayas, through Denmark, through Europe as a whole, all the way to South Africa.

Along the way they realize the implications of an old Nazi experiment called the Bell, which delivered results on a quantum level. I discussed this once in a post over on the Right Wing, as it was almost a scientific admittance that prayer does in some way work. The quantum theory that Rollins uses claims that observation of something effects the outcomes that the thing produces. It's all very science-like and I really don't want to discuss something that I've already posted.

The usual characters are back, Gray Pierce, Monk Kokkalis, Kat Bryant (now married to Monk), Director Painter Crowe, Sean McKinght, and some new characters appear, like Lisa Cummings. The enemies, a group of former Nazis and scientists, control the Bell, seeking to control evolution and create the "master race," although early attempts leave them with "leperkoenig" or leper king, which one of their creations is called, because he is immensely strong physically, yet lacking in many other areas.

The novel, much like the others in the series, contains a conclusion that leaves open the possibility for further adventures on the topic.

Final Grade: A-
Re-readability: 8.7